August 1, 2011 § 5 Comments
If you have been reading this blog recently or even for sometime, or maybe you know me personally, either way, you have learned that my sister and I are different. We do not share anything minus DNA, similar taste in music and a love for sweets. A lot of the time it feels like I do everything I can to be nice to her, yet she still will not talk to me. I can give her a super awesome birthday gift because it is her 21st birthday and something she would really enjoy. I can give her all the nice furniture for her apartment because she has nothing. I can hook her up with a nanny gig during this summer; the parents will continue to use her while their kids grown up. I can cut the grass for her thinking it was going to be helping her out and still get yelled at by her. It truly feels like I am constantly swimming against the current just to have my sister want to have a
special relationship with me.
I am jealous of the girls that have this awesome friendship with their sisters. The sisters that do lunches together, take spas days together and end the day with a trip shopping. Sometimes it is even the smallest things I long for from my sister- like a hug. I am not even kidding when I say I get two, TWO hugs a year from my sister…one on my birthday and one on Christmas. There is nothing normal about our relationship. My mother does not understand when I explain to her that my sister cannot be my Maid of Honor. My mother literally looks at me like I am the worse person ever for even thinking that sentence. Tough shit, but it will not be her.
At work, there is a calendar filled with little quotes for each day. We have all seen them and for the most part, they are nice words of encouragement. Today’s quote hit me like a ton of bricks. It was almost as if the universe knew what was going on with me. (To top it off, I got an email from Billie this morning which made me feel so warm and loved by my friends.)
“If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.” -Linda Sunshine
Do not think I hate my sister or that this will not pass. In a few weeks this will all be forgotten. I would have been told by many people, parents included, to be the “bigger” person, to ignore her because I “know how she is,” and I will have moved on. However, it still stings, and right now, it is the most important thing going on. I am bitching about it all the time. It is only because it is my sister. Every single time my sister stops talking to me, keeps her wall up even around her family or says mean and hurtful things to me, I slowly get crushed more and more. Sisters should be supportive of each other at all costs. There should be a stronger bond between my sister and I than my 4 best girlfriends. Yet, they know me better. I wish my sister could know me like they do. At the end of it all, I will love, support, be there and fight for my sister whenever she needs me to…whether she is speaking to me or not.
February 10, 2011 § 2 Comments
This is a super special Letter of Love. I am writing this letter to not just one person but a couple. This couple is amazing. They are hands down one of the sweetest couples I have ever had the joy of knowing. Don’t be scared of the picture of Judah and I. He was showing that he is not just a sweetheart. Haha.
Now, I am not saying that other couples I know, which are quite a few since I am getting to that age of settling down, are not sweet or lovely. All my other couple friends are great, and I love them. But this couple is different. They are like two teddy bears that you just want to cuddle with all the time. Brittany is a doll. When you see her, you are almost a little intimidated, but then you sit down and talk to her and find one of the most beautiful souls ever-in a monotone voice. Haha. I am not hating on it at all. I love it. You have to really know Brittany to figure out her feelings and tones. She is hilarious in a dry sense of humor way and such a great person for advice. I had the joy of meeting her through her new husband, Judah. (Well, that is his last name, but no one really calls him by his first.)
Chris is just like Brittany, only the male version. He looks scarey, but is so kind and gentle. Not to mention he is sometimes monotoned as well. :0) Both of these two individuals are openly nice to everyone they meet. I have not heard either of them say one mean word about anyone else ever. Let’s be real, everyone talks shit. It happens; you should not get terribly hurt by it because it is something everyone does-except these two. I highly, highly doubt they have ever talked smack, and that is great. I look up to both of them for being so kind and friendly to everyone, no matter their lifestyle. I am jealous of their ability to not talk behind people’s backs. I have taken their example and worked on applying it to my own life. I really learned that the best teachers in life are your friends. These two are the some of the best teachers in my life.
January 27, 2011 § 2 Comments
This week’s LOL is for the Mister’s Sister-In-Law and my oldest friend, Alli. I had the joy of meeting Alli when I was 10, and we were both extremely awkward. Ha ha. Throughout the years we have been close, not so close and now extremely close. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for having a (possibly) future SIL that I love and adore (before she married the Mister’s brother). Alli is not like any person you will ever met nor is she a really an easy person to describe. Bare with me as I give my attempt on why I adore Alli.
Alli has always been the girl who gets the joke after everyone else, but she could change your oil, spark-plugs and tires before you even get to the punchline of that joke. Alli has this undeniable ability to understand things that most girls, at least me personally, cannot even imagine comprehending. I am talking, this girl can do a lot with cars, on top of driving a stick shift, (the only reason she got the car she has now is because it was turbo) which for me was not the easiest thing in the world to learn, but that is another story all together. The girl can change your oil and do your hair and nails like a pro. Well, she is a pro so that speaks for itself.
In Alli’s greatest days she is bubbly, perky and constantly has a smile on her face. However, during her dark days, everyone in the room can feel what she is experiencing. Alli wears her heart on her shelve and doesn’t care if anyone has a problem with that. Her days are filled with working at a saloon and chasing after two of the cutest little guys around. This busy schedule may be intimidating to some but not for Alli. She has overcome some great obstacles in her lifetime, but she has always come out still standing because she has a good head on her shoulders and a strong support system from her family and close girlfriends.
I enjoy seeing her and have had some unforgettable conversations, shopping experiences, classroom shenanigans (involving school skipping, pepper spray, crying my eyes out because of my first broken heart and Oaks Day Cds) and dinners with her over the 13 years we have been friends. I cannot wait to have play-dates with her and see what the future holds for the two of us.
January 20, 2011 § Leave a comment
We bump heads probably more than any person you have ever come across. Whether this be the career path I have chosen, the person I want to spend my life with or my politics. You voice your opinion regarding everything I do, good or bad. I understand it is out of concern and care for my well-being. I understand it is just you having trouble letting me go. However, I need to do these things in order to grow, in order to find myself. You have more than provided for me, and I am thankful every single day for all that you have done and continue to do for me.
Maybe we bump heads because I am so much like you. I am just as stubborn as you. I am just as rebellious and hard-headed as you were in your younger days. I want to have fun and be social instead of scholarly and shy. Maybe that scares you. You know I want to move out of America, see the world, be a free spirit and you cannot be there to protect me. But I am going to be alright. I will succeed in everything I do and make it because of the things you taught me and instilled in me. I am going to be okay. No need to worry, but I know you will.
January 13, 2011 § 1 Comment
I am sure you are wondering why I haven’t written a letter of love to either of my parents. HA! I have; I just wanted to save them for after the holidays. For some reason, I was thinking it was going to be extremely corny and cheesy to write a sappy letter to my mom and dad during Christmas time. It just seems too Hallmark-y. Anyway, my mother, Anna Lee…she is one of a kind to say the least.
Growing up I was always told that I am my mother’s twin. I never quite understand exactly what this meant until recently. We both have moments of stupidity regarding the simplest of things. Our love of the written word exceeds any desire to watch tv or play a board game. We might be winos. My mother and I both have this unnaturally high motherly instinct towards everyone and anyone. She pretty much rocks, and it is great that I am so much like her. Well, I am happy about it now.
My mom is BEAUTIFUL, I am talking model beautiful. (I do look just like her….which makes me smile. Not to sound superficial, but there is no way I am going to be an ugly old woman. The Mister has it maaade.) She has the charm and wit to match her good looks. Her personality is so spacey, you cannot help but love her. It does take her a minute or two to get the punch line of a joke occasionally. When she does realize how funny the joke is, the room is filled with this enchanting laughter. It draws you to her and makes you want to know the joke too. The way she can catch your eye with her smile makes everyone want to be surrounded by her. For instances, I helped two of her friends throw a surprise birthday for her two years ago. It was a huge success; she was completely surprised. The night of her party, my mom barely got to leave the table she was sitting at because everyone was crowded around her. She later told me how nice it was but that she needed elbow room. Ha ha.
We haven’t always gotten along. I went through those teenage years where your mother is anything but your best friend. I certainly never made life easy for her, and I think sometimes it was harder than she expected or thought it ever would be. I was her first daughter; I rebelled worse than my older brother. I wish I could take back the things I did/said towards her. I may not be able to now, yet it is amazing to know the relationship I have with my mom now is one of a kind, just like her.
January 4, 2011 § 3 Comments
My other Letter of Love is to someone I talk about often, Katie. I have known that I wanted to write her a LOL the moment I thought about this feature. She was going to be the first, but I truly didn’t know the words to describe how much she means to me. This is my attempt.
First, here is a little background of our relationship: Katie married Clayton. Leigh began to like Katie more than Clayton. Leigh and Katie become very good friends. Pretty simple, right?
Clayton is like my older brother. We grew up together, families went on vacations together and we lived next to each other. I was always protective of Clayton in regards to the girls he brought around, but Katie was perfect for him. She is stubborn and opinionated. She then had two wonderful sons for Clayton.
Your fiery spirit is contagious. Your activism in the areas you are passionate about are so well researched and close to your heart, anyone listening to you talk about them cannot help but feel what true respect for others actually is. I am envious of your ability to take on a new hobby, learn everything you can about it and then become a pro at it. Case in point: photography. The goals you have set for yourself might seem impossible to handle or achieve by most people. You on the other hand, will have no problem at all finishing them.
I have had so much fun getting to know you over the years. It still surprises me to this day how close I am with a girl I use to call, “Clayton’s wife/future baby momma.” You have taught me so much over the course of the last few years. You have taught me how to be a better cook and blogger. You have prepared me for motherhood (even if it is years away) and the trials that come with raising children. You have opened your heart to me while my guard was up during our first encounters. You didn’t have to be nice to me when I was stand-offish. You didn’t have to continue to welcome me into your home, but you did. Because of your stubbornness to befriend me, I can call you a true friend.
I am even more thankful that I can continue to lean on you for support, (even when I know it is something you don’t support for your own life) advice and overall a wonderful friendship. You are an amazing woman. I am so lucky to be constantly learning from you. Not to mention family get togethers are so much more fun now. ;0)
January 4, 2011 § Leave a comment
Since I am playing catch up this week, I am writing two LOL: Letters of Love. Both of these two women are just beyond belief supportive and interesting. I am excited to tell you all about them.
The first is Billie. She has been seen in many of my posts regarding the shenanigans we get into during the weekend.
Billie has a child like atmosphere to her that makes you want to just protect her at all times. She seems naive, but I am beginning to think of this as a front. She takes on a lot of responsibility in terms of her family and has seen EXTREMELY trying times due to family illness or illness of her own. She has a winning spirit and a heart of gold. Over the years we have grown close, had falling outs, stayed in touch because of family and then came back together. Because of it all, she will forever be a life long friend.
I joke with the Mister about who talks to me more, Billie or him. It might be Billie…she calls or texts at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes I actually wake up to 4 texts from different times that night. It is so crucial for her to have her friends close. Staying connect with friends is vital to Billie. This might be annoying to some of those friends or others might not understand why Billie is so close to her friends. It is truly because she cares. Billie wants to be there for her friends at all times, no matter what. This is not an easy task and many individuals will not put the time and effort into a friendship like that. This is why Billie and I have stayed closed for so many years. She understands I am busy or may just need some alone time (I get into moods where I don’t want to leave my house or see anyone for weeks at a time), but those excuses do not fly with Billie. She makes you go out with her and have a grand time or she just shows up at your house. (Actually, this is a running theme with my friends…they all just randomly show up at my house.)
Sometimes I think I just need to thank my friends. Today, I want to thank Billie for randomly showing up and caring for me so much.