le sigh

August 5, 2011 § Leave a comment

The end of the week is finally here. Friday has never looked so sweet. I am keeping in good spirits and finding encouragement from my friends and loved ones. I am bring back my “can do attitude.” However, when 4 p.m. rolls around and I am headed home for the night, it is going to be a wonderful thing to fall into my bed for an afternoon nap. There’s even chances of thunderstorms. Hold off til 430p.m. rain, please?

sister, sister

August 1, 2011 § 5 Comments

If you have been reading this blog recently or even for sometime, or maybe you know me personally, either way, you have learned that my sister and I are different. We do not share anything minus DNA, similar taste in music and a love for sweets. A lot of the time it feels like I do everything I can to be nice to her, yet she still will not talk to me. I can give her a super awesome birthday gift because it is her 21st birthday and something she would really enjoy. I can give her all the nice furniture for her apartment because she has nothing. I can hook her up with a nanny gig during this summer; the parents will continue to use her while their kids grown up. I can cut the grass for her thinking it was going to be helping her out and still get yelled at by her. It truly feels like I am constantly swimming against the current just to have my sister want to have a special relationship with me.

I am jealous of the girls that have this awesome friendship with their sisters. The sisters that do lunches together, take spas days together and end the day with a trip shopping. Sometimes it is even the smallest things I long for from my sister- like a hug. I am not even kidding when I say I get two, TWO hugs a year from my sister…one on my birthday and one on Christmas. There is nothing normal about our relationship. My mother does not understand when I explain to her that my sister cannot be my Maid of Honor. My mother literally looks at me like I am the worse person ever for even thinking that sentence. Tough shit, but it will not be her.

At work, there is a calendar filled with little quotes for each day. We have all seen them and for the most part, they are nice words of encouragement. Today’s quote hit me like a ton of bricks. It was almost as if the universe knew what was going on with me. (To top it off, I got an email from Billie this morning which made me feel so warm and loved by my friends.)

“If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.” -Linda Sunshine

Do not think I hate my sister or that this will not pass. In a few weeks this will all be forgotten. I would have been told by many people, parents included, to be the “bigger” person, to ignore her because I “know how she is,” and I will have moved on. However, it still stings, and right now, it is the most important thing going on. I am bitching about it all the time. It is only because it is my sister. Every single time my sister stops talking to me, keeps her wall up even around her family or says mean and hurtful things to me, I slowly get crushed more and more. Sisters should be supportive of each other at all costs. There should be a stronger bond between my sister and I than my 4 best girlfriends. Yet, they know me better. I wish my sister could know me like they do. At the end of it all, I will love, support, be there and fight for my sister whenever she needs me to…whether she is speaking to me or not.

it is a birthday!

August 1, 2011 § 2 Comments

You know what you should do? Head over to Katie’s and wish her a happy birthday. This girl is superfly. She is a wonderful mother (actually wonderful is an understatement), talented photographer and marvelous friend. Happy birthday lovely! You are one in a million and such a perfect addition to my family (good job ClayClay). I love you boo!

my blog?

July 30, 2011 § 3 Comments

photo by katie

I have spoken about why I blog before, but now it has been brought to my attention some people do not feel that my blog is authentic. This was brought up in casual conversation because the person which addressed this “concern”  knows very private details of my life. Private details of my life that I vowed to NEVER, EVER mention on my blog for many reasons.

Although this is a personal blog, and for the most part I share every detail of my life, my relationship is something that I never wanted completely out in the open. Why? Well, I have several reasons. For one, I do not think that my fights between the Mister and I need to be showcased on my blog. The fights we have stem from a very long and complicated past that is not easy to explain in one or two posts. Second, I respect my relationship. I respect my relationship on such a strong level that I do not want to actually say his name on this blog, hence I refer to him as “Mister.” There are things he might not be okay with me posting on my blog…private fights or details that are not allowed for the general public. They are for us. Finally, I do not want to put all the ugly, nasty details on my blog. I want my blog to be positive. I want my blog to be filled with good memories I will be able to reflect on later in my years.

Whether someone is happy with what I put on my blog or not is frankly none of their concern. This is my little space on the internet, not for anyone else. If I want to only include happy things in my life and not let everyone read about my disappointments or anger, than that is my right. I do not want people to come to my blog to read about what drama happened this day at work, with my friends or in my relationship. I want people to come here to read about me, read about things that make me happy, inspire me, challenge me or just what I have been up to. If you have a problem with it, do not read it. It won’t hurt my feelings.

repeat offender

July 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

I am a repeat offender. Tupac is gonna be a throwback for the second time in less than a month. He is good okay, so sue me. Seriously though, if you cannot recognize that he did some phenomenal things with lyrics than you are dumb. (Just kidding! But not joking, you should be able to tell he is talented.) Plus, he obviously loves his mama. That is always a good thing in my mind.

pretty seating

July 27, 2011 § 2 Comments

Because of my new roommate, my sister took all of my living room set. Although it gave me a chance to redecorate, there is that problem with loving furniture outside my pocket-book. Will and I found a lovely futon for a decent price, but if my wallet was a little fatter, these would end up in my house. The colors and modern style with a hint of classic cut makes them drool worthy. All these gorgeous couches were found at Urban Outfitters.

oh the boys

July 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

Boy Bands. Greatest thing to come out of the bubble gum pop phase? I think so. I went to the NKOTBSB concert with my sister, Alyson and two other lovely ladies. It was a blast from start to finish. My sister, her two friends and myself got to the venue right as some young boy band was finishing up. I was dealing with a serious fear of heights because of where our seats were located. Luckily Katie was a doll and kept me distracted until the opening act, Matthew Morrison, began his set.I do not follow Glee, but I hear good things about it. If the show is anything like Morrison’s performance, than I should be tuning in every week. My favorite aspect of this set was when he sang “Mrs. Robinson” that lead into “Golddigger.” Every good and catchy, I must say.

Let’s get to the real reason I was at the concert, NKOTBSB. Ah. Be still my heart. These boys can sure perform. It was so wonderful to jump back in time with some girlfriends and enjoy the songs of years long ago.